


Be Sure That Your Umbrella Is Upside Down

by Cinco



Category: Big Business (1988)
Genre: Gen, Missing Scene, Mistaken Identity, Twins, switched at birth - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-17
Updated: 2012-12-17
Packaged: 2017-11-21 08:03:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/595401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinco/pseuds/Cinco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a missing scene from the 1988 film <i>Big Business</i>. (The title is from "Pennies from Heaven.")</p>
            </blockquote>





	Be Sure That Your Umbrella Is Upside Down

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Skogkatt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skogkatt/gifts).



After security hauled the men out of the ladies’ restroom, there were a few moments of silence while the four women eyed one another.

"All right," Sadie Shelton drawled, staring down the two women across from her. "Who are you and where do you come from?”

The other three women paused for a minute until Sadie Ratliff finally gave Rose Ratliff her much-used "Can you handle this?" look, and Rose nodded and spoke, lowering the plunger she’d been brandishing. "I'm Rose Ratliff and this is my sister Sadie," she said, gesturing to Sadie. "Our parents were Garth and Iona, we're from Jupiter Hollow--"

"We were born in Jupiter Hollow," Rose Shelton burst in. Sadie Shelton rolled her eyes dramatically at her. “Oh, right,” Rose said sheepishly. 

Rose Ratliff continued. "--West Virginia. We work for Hollowmade, same as our father and his father did." She looked down at the plunger in her hands as if remembering it was there and then set it down against the end of the nearest mirror.

"It's easy enough to see where this is headed,” Sadie Shelton said. “Country hospital, incompetent staff, two sets of twins switched at birth. What a magnificent lawsuit! We'll make a mint!" She gestured so grandly that she hit Rose, who was still standing beside her as if there was a mirror separating one Sadie and Rose from the others. 

Rose Shelton turned to Sadie. "That's ridiculous, Sadie. Who are you going to sue, yourself?" Sadie's glee fell visibly off her face. "We own Moramax and Moramax owns Hollowmade. Did hospitals even have liability insurance in the forties?"

Sadie Shelton looked at her with horror, and Rose frowned in exasperation. "They know what decade we were born in, Sadie! We have the same birthday!"

"Oh, that's true," Sadie said, dismissing it and returning mentally to her lawsuit. "We're certainly going to find out if they had liability insurance! We deserve restitution for our pain and suffering--"

"Doesn't seem to me like you've been doing any suffering," Rose Ratliff said over her. 

"Maybe she hasn't," Sadie Ratliff answered, "but what about me? All this time I should have lived in New York City, taking taxi cabs and shopping in boutiques?" She turned to Rose Ratliff and said, "I love our family and even Jupiter Hollow, you know I do, but I've never felt like I belonged there."

"Oh, honey," Rose Ratliff said to her, softly. To everyone, she said, "we can talk about suing later, but don't get your hopes up. You have to know that the doctor and nurse that were there when we were born are long dead, and all of our parents--"

"They are, right?" Sadie Ratliff asked the Sheltons. "My--our--parents. They've--passed away?"

Sadie Shelton huffed, so Rose answered for her. "Yes. Mother passed twelve years ago, Daddy ten. I'm sorry you won't be able to meet them."

Sadie Ratliff nodded and smiled at her in thanks.

"We're the last of our family," Rose Shelton continued, "that's why we're running Moramax."

"We have tons of family!" Sadie Ratliff offered. "All back in Jupiter Hollow--"

"Which is why we're here, fighting to save it from money-grubbing companies like yours!" Rose Ratliff shouted, waving her fist.

"What's to save?" Sadie Shelton shouted. "That little no-account backwater?" 

"That's our birthplace you’re talking about, Sadie, and the home of my biological family," Rose said, making eye contact with the other Rose. "You're not going to destroy the only major employer in their hometown out of greed--"

"It could be for revenge," Sadie Shelton offered and Sadie Ratliff seemed to be considering it for a second until her sister gave her a half-warning, half-appalled look.

Sadie Ratliff relented and gestured to Rose Shelton. "That's right. We all need to sit down and talk about what's going to happen to Hollowmade--"

"I want to hear about my parents, I mean your--our parents," Rose Shelton said. "They’re gone?" Rose Ratliff nodded. "What did our mother do? Who was that man that the police hauled out of here?"

"Oh, that's Roone," said Sadie Ratliff. "He's Rose's boyfriend. He would have been her fiancé if she hadn't dragged us here to New York City to stop Moramax!" Rose Ratliff scowled at her. "They've been together forever," Sadie prattled nervously, the tense atmosphere clearly getting to her. "I don't know why they aren't engaged already!"

"Oh hush," Rose said to her. "You know saving Jupiter Hollow is more important than getting hitched, and honestly I've never been sure that Roone was the right man..." She trailed off, looking at Rose Shelton, who was looking back a little guiltily. "Maybe now we know why. I take it you’ve met Roone?"

Rose Shelton nodded. "I really like him," she admitted. "He seems to know me--you--so well."

"He does," Rose Ratliff answered, and then realized. "Did I meet your boyfriend in the lobby? Tall, handsome, trying to give me a diamond ring?"

"Sounds like Dr. Jay," Sadie Shelton growled.

"Sadie hates him,” Rose Shelton explained. “But we broke up! He gave you a ring?"

"I guess he reconsidered,” Sadie Ratliff said, raising her eyebrows. Then a thought struck her and she turned to Sadie Shelton and shouted, "You! I met your son! And your--ex-husband? Very cute, has a beard?" Sadie Shelton nodded and Sadie Ratliff continued. "You didn't really name your son _Sly_ , did you?"

"No, his name’s Jason. He's Sylvester Stallone's biggest fan," she sighed.

"You let him watch that trash?" Sadie Ratliff said, horrified. Sadie Shelton shrugged.

"What about you?" Rose Shelton said to Sadie Ratliff, "Do you have a man for Sadie?" She smiled at Sadie Shelton, who glared at her in response.

"No, no," said Sadie Ratliff, just as Sadie Shelton said, "I have absolutely no trouble finding men all on my own." She looked very smug, and then considered the other women and added, "And _I_ wouldn’t take my sister’s cast-offs."

All three of them reacted with outrage: Sadie Ratliff shrieked, Rose Ratliff growled, and Rose Shelton hissed, "Sadie!"

Sadie Shelton looked very slightly chagrined and shrugged a little in an insincere apology. "Whatever. You ladies may have forgotten, but we have a meeting to attend." She started towards the door. "Rose, you—"

"Yes?" both Roses answered as they all followed, and then everyone stood still for a second in confusion.

"This won’t do at all," Rose Shelton said. "I’m so confused, I don’t know if I’m coming or going!"

"I don’t know if I’m you or me," Rose Ratliff told her. "You better be Rosie, and I’ll stay Rose." She skipped out the door of the restroom. "Rosie, Rosie, my sister Rosie!"

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my wonderful beta—she went above and beyond as she always does. <3
> 
>  
> 
> Dear Skogkatt,
> 
> Just like you, I grew up with this movie and have watched it a zillion times! I offered to write it last year also and was delighted to be matched with you this year--I loved your prompts! I’m sorry that I didn’t write any of them, and I want to read all of those stories myself (especially Harlan’s!); unfortunately, I wasn't able to write them. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this missing scene. I always felt a bit cheated by the way the movie entirely skips what happens after the screaming dies down! I wanted to see understanding set in, and find out what questions each woman would need to ask before they’d go on to the stockholders’ meeting. I tried to make it mesh with the movie as closely as possible, but please forgive me if I have contradicted canon. I hope you had a good Yuletide, and thank you for your wonderful letter!


End file.
